I’m as sensitive as they come and I talk to my best friends in New York about once a month. As a result, Western women are very disappointed in their men, whereas men aren’t nearly as disappointed in women. We just hate the fact that you need us to change so much.
In other words, even if men feel the emotional need to connect, they rarely reach out to do so – with each other, with their families, and with you. As a result of all of these biological and societal observations about men, it shouldn’t be too surprising that there are no Time Magazine cover stories or best-selling books about desperate men. Why are you okay not being in a relationship – and how is this different than the women you know? I agree that women have outlandishly unrealistic expectations for love and relationships.
Or does it all simply come down to the capriciousness of the female orgasm – since men can have an orgasm with practically anyone, they don’t much care who they’re with, whereas if a woman finds someone who’s actually good in bed she’s desperate to hang on to him?! My assistant says it’s because when they’re single, they can play video games and watch porn, and if they got a girlfriend, she’d insist they give up one or both. So, together, let’s consider why men are generally cooler with being single than women: 1. As I observed in “Why He Disappeared”, this tends to be the way that men deal with most of their relationships.
Why aren’t they just as keen as we are to know “where things are going” early on in the relationship? I particularly love your list of what sucks about being single.
A lot of men my age seem uninterested in a committed relationship, seeming to prefer a more casual “low investment, low return” approach to relationships. As a guy who was single for 35 years, I completely agree and think that – all things remaining equal – having a good relationship is a far superior state of being than being alone.
Their needs are met by their male friendships and their careers and the last thing they want to do is hold your purse when shopping at Nordstrom.
You can tell who these men are because when they’re not with you, you don’t exist. We want someone who is attractive, who doesn’t criticize us or tell us how much we need to change, who we can spend lots of time with without getting bored, who we can bring around our friends and families with minimal incident.