When it comes to black people, the Asian judgment is racist but stems from pure ignorance rather than a belief in superiority and inferiority.
I remember my Chinese grandfather saying at some point, “I can’t stand black people” but he honestly didn’t have a clue why. ” Whereas, if you talked to him about any other culture/ race, he’d at least be able to tell you why he approved or disapproved.
Monica: A white male friend told me that he thought the public debate about intercultural relationships overemphasized race and didn’t pay enough attention to the role of religion.
On two occasions, women who really liked him didn’t ultimately get into a relationship with him because their Lutheran parents and grandparents would have disapproved.
I belong to caste A, my boyfriend belongs to caste B. None of our parents are OK with an inter-caste marriage. Our parents take the reactions of their relatives and neighbours way more seriously than our feelings. Not happy, but happier, than making any other choice. People facing pressures from their parents are usually young people just starting out in their careers.
They’re telling us about the loss of face in their respective societies that they’ll have to suffer if this marriage happens. We want to marry with those precious blessings only and we’re ready to wait till we get them. Will it not make you unhappy to irk your parents by marrying against their wish? Will it not make you unhappy to say goodbye forever to the person you love? Be selfish and choose the option that makes you the least unhappy, and then let go. In most cases they’ve either not started earning, or are still financially partly dependent on their parents.
Well, on second thoughts there are people who’d still call me a baby and their number is more than two, but I digress again… In my experience of talking to, consoling and counselling scores of young people like you, I’ve observed that there are three golden rules of dealing with parents who are real tough nuts to crack, and I thought I’ll lay them down today, fuming as I am. And you have no idea about the power of that belief. Again, you need to choose the option that makes you the least unhappy: Option #1: Embark on a radically new life.
There are definitely some cultural backgrounds they are more comfortable with and others they view as “too different” from their own, which gets conflated with racial differences as well.Jia Jia: My sense is that white parents probably distinguish more on value systems and less on race, while Asian parents generally conflate status with race– i.e.Europeans/ whites have higher status while everyone else/ non-whites have lower status.Not only because I am from a Hindu background and this already represents an inflammatory divide, but also because we associate Islam with very fundamentalist beliefs.My family would probably be alright with Hispanics, both racially and culturally, given that Hispanics often share many of our own family-oriented values; although, if my boyfriend or fiancé were a strict Catholic, that could again pose problems due to the strong religious differences.