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On the low end of the spectrum, some men will be profoundly turned by a woman approaching them.

They have issues with aggressive or strong women – women who don’t conform to the “traditional values” of being meek and subservient, and a woman who flouts convention in that way will repulse them.

maybe even stopping to give him lessons in how to get her to like him so he can do better next time. Other times they get brushed off by the men because they’re not the women those men that someone is trying to make the first move.

More often than not the way women approach men they’re interested in doesn’t match up with how they picture the approach going.

Let’s be honest: if every time a man approached a woman there was a not-insignificant chance that she was actually a gorgon, men would be a lot less likely to approach strangers. for the exact same reasons a lot of socially awkward guys don’t, but with the added benefit of social expectations working against them.

It’s not about “women have it worse, so suck it up and make the move”, nor is it about whose “responsibility” it is for being the aggressor.

The traditional gender roles of man-as-aggressor are continually reinforced by our culture and society; witness the slut-shaming that Miley Cyrus gets for being an active – rather than passive – sexual performer.

Even in this day and age, the sexually-aggressive woman is a figure of ridicule (especially if she’s played by Rebel Wilson rather than Kim Cattrall) .

However, once you understand the social dynamics of am – then you’re intimately familiar with the heart palpitations, the sweaty palms, the dry mouth and the infinite variations of “What’s Going To Go Wrong” that flash through your head when you’re trying to psych yourself up to make the approach. Because they perceive women as the ones who ultimately control access to sex, they tend to miss out on a very fundamental issue: .

One of the insidious issues of the idea that women are somehow in charge of dating and have it so much easier than men do is that it invalidates and erases every woman who’s ever been rejected by somebody she’s attracted to.